Net Neutrality!!

"Take Coke for the Pain" guess

http://laineygossip.com/Another_Jennifer_Aniston_pregnancy_rumour.aspx

The National Enquirer is reporting she’s pregnant. Her tireless publicist, Stephen Huvane, quickly shot it down. You will note – Us Weekly has openly called Huvane a liar on many, many, many occasions.

Indeed, he does seem to contradict himself with alarming regularity. But maybe that’s because his client can only stay relevant post Pitt split by spreading a rumour herself and then quickly debunking it. For a refresher, please revisit her relationship with Vince Vaughn.

It appears this time is no different. On the plus side, Jen appears to have stopped obsessing about her weight. Her body looks good. Her body looks normal. She is no longer rail thin – the antithesis, of course as always, of Angelina Jolie. It’s a rally cry for the MiniVan Majority, see?

And since it’s been a quiet year… since she’s has no movie to promote, since she seems stuck in a romantic comedy rut for the rest of her career, why not exploit her new curves? Why not whip the MiniVan into a lather about whether or not she’s expecting? And then of course immediately deny it just to further speculation? Conveniently just as she’s on holiday in Los Cabos with the Arquettes? With bikini photos to put the rumour mill into overdrive?

It’s brilliant, non? We all know how much the MiniVan Majority loves Baby Fever.

Flynetonline.com has photos of Jennifer by the pool – as you can see, the stomach is not concave. Click here for more. Call me Cruise but to me that just looks like a woman who hasn’t been hitting the gym every day for 2 hours. Compared to what she was, of course she looks a little flabbier. On the whole though, it’s a nice body. A very nice body. We should all be so fortunate to have such a nice body. And that ass…

Is that ass being admired by a new beau? Babies and engagements, Huvane appears to be laying it on thick. OK! Magazine is reporting that a mystery man accompanied Jennifer on vacay and is staying with her in her rented villa. Identity has yet to be confirmed.

But on an unrelated note… John Stamos was also said to be heading to Los Cabos for the holidays. Coincidence or conspiracy? My dream couple! Jennifer and John! Could it finally happen? Finally? At this point, not a likelihood. But Xenu can work miracles.

Monday, December 31, 2007 at 4:53:19 AM
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Friday, February 15, 2008
And Eric Bana’s wife is not a lesbian.
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Friday, February 15, 2008
Kate Bosworth hasn’t been blowing away the pain. Lately.
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Friday, February 15, 2008
PS. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is not having help issues.
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"Needing Supervision," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=3924

And it's not Hugh Jackman. Or John Travolta.
Monday, May 29, 2006
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Thursday, February 14, 2008
And Hilary Duff doesn’t forget the sad with the happy. Anymore.
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Thursday, February 14, 2008
PPS. Josh Hartnett is not having problems with the help. Neither is Sting, although his wife can be unkind.
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Rachel_Weisz_Definitely_Maybe_premiere_New_York.aspx

Rachel Weisz was total gorgessity last night at the premiere of Definitely, Maybe in New York. Not sure what she’s wearing but it looks so good, I don’t blame her if she wants to keep it. In fact, she probably will keep it.

Rachel is currently working on the film adaptation of The Lovely Bones. She plays Susie’s mom. The part of Susie meanwhile went to Saoirse (seer-sha) Ronan who of course is currently nominated for Atonement.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008
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"Take Coke for the Pain," it's not...

Wednesday, February 13, 2008
And Rachel McAdams is not blowing her heartache away on holiday.
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008
PS. Justin Timberlake does not need good help. He has his mother. Besides…he can sing and dance but the Pip canNOT act.
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"Take Coke for the Pain," it's not...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Robin Wright Penn is not on holiday taking coke for the pain. Neither is Pamela Anderson. You think she has to go on vacation for that???
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008
PPS. John Cusack is not short on good help.
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"New Bitch Unwelcome" revealed again

http://laineygossip.com/Carrie_Underwood_Grammys_2008.aspx

Didn’t think it was possible but this hair is actually WORSE than Ken Paves. When you can actually SEE the line of the hairpiece, it’s pretty much rock bottom hair. In these times, with this kind of access, it is CRIMINAL to rock a cheap weave. CRIMINAL.

What makes it even more pathetic is that you can practically smell her objective. She wanted it so badly. She wanted to be the blonde babe with the blonde locks, the perfect American country girl who lands on the cover of People Magazine proclaimed as the best dressed for the MiniVan Majority. Wouldn’t you know it… they did.

On the other hand, Tom Ford is probably moving her from his Charity List to his Never List…

As for whether or not this girl has the power of potential transformation a la Faith Hill – I say no. You need humility for that. And a healthy dose of respect. But Carrie Underwood is all about Carrie Underwood. Trust.

Monday, February 11, 2008
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http://laineygossip.com/Emily_Blunt_BAFTA_2008.aspx

Emily Blunt’s body is ridiculous. So ridiculous it even looks great draped in turquoise bedazzlement. Not my favourite Blunt carpet moment but still... that body. That body that is left alone too often and probably not appreciated properly by her official boyfriend - the staple of easy listening 97.3, the male Canadian cheese counterpart to Celine Dion… Michael Buble.

Thankfully, Emily Blunt isn’t the kind of girl who weeps alone at home. She is however the kind of girl who is most definitely getting hers too. Trust.

Sunday, February 10, 2008
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http://laineygossip.com/Orlando_Bloom_at_the_BAFTAs_2008.aspx

Three Whiskers Orlando Bloom has been laying low of late – no new projects confirmed, scrambling to find some new direction with his career beyond the teenybop. Good luck with that, honey.

Word is he and Kate Hudson were seen with their heads together at one point – not making out but in serious discussion about someone they both knew who’s no longer with them. Like Sienna Miller, his death has supposedly had a sobering effect on Orly who was allegedly no stranger to the insidious Hollywood hard party lifestyle.

Too bad the dude who’s looking for good help hasn’t heeded the same message, even though he was on hand to witness a heartbreaking reaction to the tragedy almost first hand.

Sunday, February 10, 2008
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http://laineygossip.com/James_Franco_looks_like_ass_at_art_museum_gala.aspx

Remind you of Jonathan Rhys Meyers? Could totally be just the flu…

But this is Hollywood. And this is James Franco on Saturday night at the Broad Contemporary Art Museum opening in LA on Saturday night. And that is a major case of clammy face, in these parts typically brought on by a bad high or a bad itch.

Is your smutty sense tingling???

And before you ask…no, he is not looking for good help. He is, however, probably looking for a good bump.

Sunday, February 10, 2008
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http://laineygossip.com/Take_Coke_for_the_Pain.aspx

Love hurts. Her pride hurts. Betrayed and humiliated, she’s taking a break from her relationship woes and has decided to dash off on holiday with friends.

Fun in the sun and a boozy vacay – perhaps what she needs to put things in perspective. But upon arrival, she decided alcohol was apparently not enough. And neither is marijuana. This kind of heartache requires the hard stuff.

Cocaine is the magic solution. Which is why she’s been blowing the pain away through her nose, a side of her that’s anathema to the squeaky clean, anti-drug image that’s been played out in the papers.

Monday, February 11, 2008 at 10:20:14 AM

Update (1/5/09):
guess
denial 1: Robin Wright Penn & Pamela Anderson
denial 2: Rachel McAdams
denial 3: Hilary Duff
denial 4: Kate Bosworth
denial 5: Lily Allen
denial 6: Natalie Portman
clue
reveal


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Monday, February 11, 2008
PS. Christian Bale and Jude Law are not having trouble finding good help.
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