Net Neutrality!!

"Another Winner," it's not...

http://laineygossip.com/intro_29sept10.aspx

This by the way is not my Porny Simpson. That should pretty much take care of it, non?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 7:21 AM

Another Winner
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http://laineygossip.com/Robert_Pattinson_complains_about_paparazzi_following_him_after_party_in_Malibu_26july10.aspx

Robert Pattinson gold

These photos and this video are making my life.

Robert Pattinson went to the movies on Saturday with his agent. Then he hit up a party in Malibu. The paps were all over him. First time? No but this time a tweaky Pattinson was extra agitated about the attention, whining that they were following him, trying to enlist the help of the cops who didn’t give a sh-t, wandering around seemingly aimlessly, rubbing his nose in his totally inconspicuous, non eye-catching, blend-in-anywhere car.

It’s the best. Listen to that beast. He’s grinding the sh-t out of her. Does this kid know how to drive? A Prius would be a little more manageable, non? X17 was glued to him that day and they claim he tapped a parked car when he was pulling out of his spot after the party. I don’t know what kind of f-ckery they’re up to with their editing but they don’t seem to include this part in the video.

What they do include however is Pattinson meandering from here to there looking at times annoyed, at times befuddled, at times obliging, and sometimes even amused. I really love it when at one point he stops in front of the cameras, just after hating on them for making his life miserable, like it’s a red carpet on the middle of the street allowing them to shoot him.

This amazingness is matched however by the random fangirl who decides that now would be the best time to engage him in conversation about ... public speaking?

It’s hard to make out exactly but to me it sounds like she’s inviting him to be the key note at a convention...!!!

What do they do at house parties in Malibu? He should go more often, especially if this is how he comes out.

Monday, July 26, 2010 at 9:35 AM

Watching how he copes

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http://laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Aniston_should_not_be_blamed_for_Cougar_Town_bad_ratings_.aspx

Everyone was sh-tting on Jennifer Aniston yesterday about guesting on Cougar Town and not helping the ratings. As you know, I’m all over sh-tting on Jennifer Aniston, any time, it’s my favourite game, but the thing is, I just watched that clip and here’s one you can’t blame her for. Because goddamn this show is sh-t. Like really, really, really bad sh-t.

That part where she gets into the car and has to calm herself? It’s embarrassing. And it’s not like she wrote it either. She simply agreed to do it for a friend who hits her up for professional favours in exchange for secret keeping. That seems fair.

Besides, maybe it’s not that people were tuning away from Jen so much as they were f-cking running away from Courteney Cox’s face, WTF???

It’s horrifying. Especially when she tries to be “sad”. Something is happening with her eyes too. The more she pulls them up the lower they drop. And those lips look like they enjoy punching themselves. Then when you see that her neck seems like it’s about to snap from the tightness, you realise the fact the decline in ratings for Cougar Town really has nothing to do with Jennifer Aniston, and everything to do with the fact that, on so many levels, the show is totally unwatchable.

As for Aniston, again in her defence, had she been doing a guest spot on, say, Grey’s Anatomy or some such? The numbers would have been through the roof. It’s really time for her to go home. To television. She could be great there, especially in this era of The Good Wife and Nurse Jackie and Weeds and The Closer and the list goes on and on for strong female driven vehicles, how can that be any worse than The Bounty Hunter???

Friday, September 24, 2010 at 9:39 AM

Secrets from the BFF
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"Another Winner," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_28sept10.aspx

[Comment From dq]
Is the blind Kim Kardashian?
Lainey: DQ - no.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010 at 11:42 AM

Another Winner
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_28sept10.aspx

[Comment From alli]
Today's blind (Another Winner) - is it about Anne Hathaway?
Lainey: Alli - no.
[Comment From Deb]
Blind: Another winner = Reese W she is in YVR!
Lainey: Deb - no.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010 at 11:42 AM

Another Winner
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_28sept10.aspx

[Comment From Amy]
Was the blind Joel McHale (from The Soup)?
Lainey: Amy - No.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010 at 11:42 AM

Bad with people
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Aniston_on_date_with_Harry_Morton_Lindsay_Lohans_ex_02sept10.aspx

Jennifer Aniston: one degree of Firecrotch

Jesus.

It’s too much fontrum, please make it stop.

Jennifer Aniston picked up from Jessica Simpson and invited John Mayer into her bed.

Last night she was out for dinner with a mystery man. Radaronline.com has just revealed that it’s Harry Morton. Who?

Pink Taco?

Lindsay Lohan?

Her ex-boyfriend?

I mean...

Poor John Stamos. Because if John Mayer is good enough, and Lilo’s discards are good enough, you have to wonder why John Stamos, who says he doesn’t have sex and snort rails with underage extortionists, isn’t good enough. After all, Jen’s bar doesn’t seem to be all that high.

Um, also, Harry Morton was linked not too long ago with Lolita Hayden Panettiere. Goddamn it Jennifer, it’s like you’re trying to make us feel sorry for you. The worst part is, I kind of do. And I’d rather be hated than pitied. Just a personal preference. I guess she’s proven though that she doesn’t share it.

But think about it: Jennifer Aniston can now play Six Degrees of Firecrotch with just one step. Shame.

Thursday, September 02, 2010 at 12:39 PM

Another Winner
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http://www.laineygossip.com/blind_riddle_another_winner_28sept10.aspx

She certainly knows how to pick them, douchebag after douchebag. Although it’s ended with the last one who didn’t want to get serious he’s still getting a lot of mileage from their brief hook-up. Seems he has a really big mouth, and is telling everyone everywhere how much she wanted him. So much so that the first time they had sex, at a friend’s place, she was so horny and had to have him so badly that it didn’t matter that she was on her period. She pulled her tampon out on the spot, tossed it aside cavalierly, and invited him in.

He also keeps boasting to his buddies that she loved going down on him, especially in the car. Said it made her feel like she was still in high school, she got off on the danger...and she gets off on her own body. According to him, nothing made her as hot as hearing compliments about how tight she is. Like that would crank her up several notches. Typical asshole, looking back now, he says he’d just reel off some standard, premeditated one-liners, just to f-ck with her some more, and get her more enthusiastic on his ride.

He barely, barely matters, and she’s a big deal, and though it’s over now he’s using it like an item on his resumé, the very opposite of discretion, and for her, another romantic embarrassment, although maybe, given her obviously preference for dickheads, maybe she doesn’t see it that way.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010 at 8:17 AM

Update (11/03/10):

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